Wednesday, November 30, 2005


I still can't get over the story that Fred sent. I wanted to sum up the story, but I don't want to short-change the sentiment contained in the article.

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket to buy the remaining of the gift I didn't manage to buy earlier. When I saw all the people there, I started to complain to myself, "It is going to take forever here and I still have so many other places to go.

Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year. How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it..." Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if after all kids really play with such expensive toys.

While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest. He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who this doll was for. Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him, "Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?"

The old lady replied, "You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear." Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who he wanted to give this doll to. "It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can not bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister."

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, "I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me." I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy, "What if we checked again, just in case if you have enough money?"

"Ok," he said. "I hope that I have enough."

I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money. The little boy said, "Thank you God for giving me enough money."

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me." "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose." "You know, my mummy loves white rose."

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my trolley.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away. I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wish before burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken all this away from him.


Now tell me, was it just me or was it really the story? Am I just over-reacting or is the story really that emotional? Hmmm...

I was just reminded by the story, that like the boy, I will be spending this Christmas with an incomplete family. :( It's our first Christmas with a "missing" family member. T_T

Kaya sa lahat ng nakakabasa nito, spend the holidays with your family. Make the most out of your time with them. Walang nakakaalam kung kelan ang huling pasko nyo na magkakasama at kumpleto. In my case, I never expected that December 25, 2004 was my last Christmas with my lola. Good for me, I spent that day wholly with my family. :)

This is getting too preachy. But at least, I don't lose anything with this reminder. :)

Iyakin, pambihira!

If there's one thing that most people do not know about me is the fact that I AM A CRY BABY! Yes, I am. And sometimes, I hate the fact that I am, coz most of the time I cry for ALMOST no reason at all... I just feel that I want to cry.

Just this morning, this "abnormality" (if I may call it such) hit me again. Fred sent a VERY touching story by email. Tears suddenly welled out while I was reading the article and I just felt that I miss my lola so much... so much that I can't control my tears... so much that just a few words relating to her really pains me a lot. I cried in my desk... I cried in front of my workstation... nakakahiya! I cried in the comfort room! I just can't control it. Maga na ang ilong ko at ang pula na ng mata ko, pambihira! But I just felt the urge to cry... and so I did cry. It's relieving but inappropriate, i guess.

With my physique and outlook in life, it seems ironic that I always cry. But yes, I do. I am so emotional and I can easily identify with the sentiments of other people. Compassionate, yes that's the right term. I easily sympathize with people in different conditions, minsan OA na ang dating! Grrr... Pambihira, madalas hindi ko matingnan yung pinapanood ko dahil naaawa ako sa character! Tama ba naman yun?! Nakakainis talaga ako! #-o

But I do my crying alone... hiya ako sa public. When I'm in public, I usually front my comic face, but no hypocrisy with that. I am really a jolly person, BY CHOICE! :->

Hehe. Why the heck am I sharing this! Naiinis lang talaga ako na napakaiyakin ko! Minsan wala na sa lugar! Hmpf!

Ang sakit tuloy ng mata ko ngayon. :( Yet, I really miss my lola a lot. I know crying won't do anything to bring her back, but at least it helps me cope up with the loss and with the hurt caused by missing her soooo badly. T_T

Friday, November 25, 2005

just sharing... :-)

This article is part of a daily subscription from PDL Daily Devotional and it really gave me a pinch. I was almost teary-eyed while reading this. Hehe, drama! :P

Indeed, I have a lot of things to thank God for. My (wonderful) family, (super great) friends, disposition in life, stability (emotionally, mentally, physically, SPIRITUALLY, and financially ), and people who appreciate me and treat me special! :->

I was just reminded.

To those who'll read this, hope you'll be blessed as much as I have been by this piece of devotional. God bless! ^_^

What Thanksgiving Can Do
by John Fischer

The worst moment for an atheist comes when he is really thankful and has no one to thank. - Unknown

Thanksgiving is the theme song of the Christian. For a Christian not to be thankful is like a dog not to wag his tail at his owner's approach.

Thankful Christians walk around grateful for every breath, every sunset, every new morning, every color in the color spectrum, and every star in the sky. Like an alcoholic who is clean and sober, noticing beauty and taste for the first time, we are grateful just to be alive because we have been dead for so long.

It's hard to think of one vice that the virtue of thankfulness cannot render useless. One does not need to steal when one is thankful. A man does not covet his neighbor's wife when he is thankful for his own. No one craves more when he is grateful for what he has.

In the same way, a thankful heart cancels out pride and arrogance. No need to judge other people when you are thankful for who you are. No need to measure yourself by and compare yourself to others when you are thankful for what God has done in your life. No need to keep anyone out of the kingdom of God when you're overwhelmed that you got in. (God can let in anyone He wants. I am simply glad to be counted among the saved.)

You don't care if you get the important seat at the table when you are overcome with gratitude at simply being invited to the dinner. You don't put heavy weights on other people's shoulders when you are thankful that God has lightened your own load. You are not obsessed with what other people think of you when you are overwhelmed with the fact that God is thinking about you all the time. You don't demand respect when you are thankful for your place. You don't have to hide your own sin when you are already thankful for God's forgiveness. You don't have to protect your image when you are already number one with God. You don't have to condemn other people's blindness when it's only the grace of God that has allowed you to see. You don't have to try for the highest place when you are already grateful for whatever place you were given. You don't have to make a show of spirituality when you are thankful for having received the Spirit. You don't have to clothe yourself in holy robes when you have been already clothed in righteousness. You don't have to be full of yourself when you are thankful that God has filled you up with Himself.

Not only do we have a lot to be thankful for, our thankfulness can accomplish much.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

nangungulit lang...

I want to update, but I have nothing to say. Hehehe. Ang kulit! :P

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

better version...

Sarah had a better version of putting our "Festi - Flightplan moment" into blog.

Click click: Whatta weekend!

Flightplan! ^_^

Yeah, I did went on a gimmick with Sarah, Joan and Arian last Saturday! We watched Flightplan at Festival mall and had some refreshments! The movie was... uhhh... short but good! Yung tipong pagaganahin talaga ang utak mo. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it!

With Joan, Sarah and me as buddies... what else do you expect... but a bunch of pictures! ;)

(I dunno how to make a story out of this, so let me just show you the pics... :P)

at past 3 p.m. to 3:50 p.m. we had refreshments @ SBARRO. My 1st time to eat there. Scrumptious foods! Mmmm.. pasta with white sauce.. sarap! :)

at around 4 p.m., we bought tickets for the movie. nakakaaliw yung picture namin sa pila, parang yung mama ang kinukuhanan at kami ang extra. Hehehe! (Bawal nga daw pala mag-picture taking sa may poster ng movie.. but we managed to sneak out! :P)

Ice cream at ICE MONSTER after the movie! Yum Yum! Treat ni Sarah! mmmmm... :D

After the ice cream treat, nag-stroll kami *sandali?* sa mall to look for items on sale... then we went straight to Joan's place and spent overnight there! ^_^ (halatang wasted na kami sa pics noh?! :D)

I enjoyed the day! :D Looking forward to spending more wonderful weekends with these guys in the days to come! ^_^

Saturday, November 19, 2005


it's a friday.. and i'm still at the office... iniwan ako ng mga kasabay ko umuwi! :( Oh, well, actually, I asked them to go ahead. I am done with another system documentation, which I worked on for a whole week... but it is just done for now... to be continued. Well, I want blogging to be my last activity for the day/(work)week. So here I am... but actually, I don't know what to put here. Lemme think.

I am going to watch a movie tomorrow! Sarah, Joan and I are planning to watch Flightplan. Well, I really want to watch Harry Potter but Joan had watched it already so we shifted. After the movie, we plan to go to Joan's place, and have lunch there perhaps. Hehe.. tight budget! Well I'm looking forward to this gimmick! I am so excited, I really dunno why. This is just an ordinary gimmick but I guess the timing makes me look forward to it. I just want a break and tomorrow, I am going to have it! yeah! :D

Next week, we plan to go to Enchanted Kingdom.. with the SystemOne and UPLB peeps... yipee! I am so excited for that... after EK, we plan to spend overnight somewhere, still don't know where , hehe, but definitely I will spend the night with the group. :D

I am really excited for this gimmicks! 'actually looking forward to them! weeeh!

It has been a super stressful week. Pressure was all around me for the past few days. Pressure with work and with people. I don't want to elaborate! :P

I'm glad, this (work)week is over! I am a survivor! A superficial survivor, that is! :P

Friday, November 18, 2005

I want to...


Thursday, November 17, 2005

... mediocre ...

I can’t be lukewarm

I can’t be in between

It’s bad to be

But I am always at the mid

Can’t go left or right

Even if I want to

Something in me, just pulls me back to the core

Playing safe, yes maybe

Although I don’t want to

But I am not geared up for the deal yet

I am afraid

It is only sometimes that I take a stand

I did that before, and mind you, it was hard

But I was willing then and I am still

A pact so DIVINE... a promise so precious

Now, the time has come for me to prove myself

That indeed I have made that commitment and ready to stand by it

I want to stand by it


There could be solace… I hope

I really really do hope.

Coz I don’t want to stay here anymore

In the middle of things

Where everything is mediocre

Where everything is cautious

Where everything is uncertain

I want to go beyond this mediocrity


[I hope]


gusto ko sumigaw....

gusto ko umiyak....

gusto ko may gawin, pero wala ako magawa....

gusto ko makipag-usap, pero hindi ko alam pano simulan....

gusto ko magtanong, pero hindi ko alam kung pano sabihin....


Friday, November 11, 2005

Didn't know I am... 8-}

You're style is quiet and cute. Guys notice you more often than you notice them, but your relationships may tend toward platonic friendships. You tend to shy away from serious relationships and spend more time alone or with your friends than you would in the back of a movie theatre snuggled up with your sweetie.

Got this link from sarah's blog. And yeah, this is just one of those tinatamad-ako-magtrabaho-kaya-ko-pinatulan sites again. Haha! 'Didn't actually think I am sweet and innocent. :"> Oh well, sweet... I am... but innocent?! wahahaha! pero pwede din! ^_^ Hehe! :P Platonic relationship... sounds cool and timely... but of course, someday I will settle for a serious one! :)


Dilemma. I’ve encountered this so many times before, but up to now, I still haven’t mastered the art of wisely dealing with it. And now, it caught me unprepared... again… :-<

Haaay, why do I always have to make a choice. It’s hard. Especially for a person who doesn’t want complications, like me. I don’t want things to be difficult for me. I want to take everything lightly. I want to enjoy and savor what is current that I tend to fear change. I don't want existing conditions to alter, especially when I have just learned the difficult task of shaping up to that condition. However, I know that it should not always be the case. If anything new comes… I have to open my doors to it… despite the fact that it can set hurdles on my way.

Grrr… once again I’m cornered… for the nth time, I guess. Somehow, I’m used to it. I’m used to the feeling of being confined in this kind of situation… but still, I don’t know how to respond. I don’t know how to deal with things. I AM CONFUSED!

I really don’t know which way to turn now. The road ahead gives me headache. But I have just taken the risk. Err… RISKS! And that complicate things bit further.

If I can just set things to be the way I want them to. If I can only change people… if I can only schedule everything… if I can only choose the things and people that I want in my life and arrange when I want them to come… if I can… but I know I can’t.

I don’t want to fret too much… as always. But just how am I going to avoid doing it, if every day and every night I am reminded how much haggles are in my way. Why does this always happen to me?! Ako pa na tamad mag-isip at magdesisyon! Why o why?! But on the other hand, maybe, that off-putting stance is my secret weapon. Hmmm… let me change what I’ve just said: Buti na lang tamad ako mag-isip! In times like this, it helps. I see the hitches, but I’m too sluggish to worry about them. Perhaps, that keeps me going. My attitude of letting things work themselves out. But that doesn’t remove the snags.

I’m still facing dilemma. Lots of them. :-<

… so help me God. :)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

20 questions

Extra Long Post!

This read is really time-consuming, but worth it. Really nice conversation! I just enjoyed their train of thought. If you dare read this... hope you enjoy! ^_^

Twenty Questions

Ni Juan Ekis


Jigs ­ Fresh grad. Kabarkada ni Yumi. Magtatrabaho bilang researcher sa isang financial firm

Yumi ­ Commercial Model. Kabarkada ni Jigs. 2 years ahead kay Jigs.


Gabi. Sa isang kwarto ng isang beach resort. Naglalatag ng kumot si Jigs sa sahig habang inaayos ni Yumi ang kanyang higaan.

YUMI Sige na, Jigs. Huwag ka nang magpaka-gentleman. Naaawa ako sa¹yo e. Tabi na tayo sa kama.

JIGS Hindi, okay lang ako dito.

YUMI Huwag ka nang maarte. As if naman re-rapin kita no. Malaki naman itong kama e. Hatiin na lang natin sa gitna.

JIGS Sure ka?

YUMI Hindi mo naman siguro ako mamanyakin no?

JIGS (Matatawa) Okay ka lang?

YUMI Kung gusto mo, gamitin na lang natin iyang kumot na divider.

JIGS Good idea.

Isasampay nila ang kumot mula sa kisame para mahati ang kama sa gitna. Magsesettle down ang dalawa. Ilalabas ni Jigs ang libro niya: ³Puppy Love and other Stories² ni F. Sionil Jose. Si Yumi naman ay magpapatugtog ng Japanese Zen Music habang nagsa-zazen.

YUMI Do you mind?

JIGS No, go ahead. I¹m just reading.

Magsa-zazen si Yumi. Magbabasa si Jigs. Pareho silang di maka-concentrate. Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player niya.

YUMI I can¹t believe our friends.

JIGS Oo nga e.

YUMI Dapat ginagawa nila ?to sa mga bagong pasok sa barkada o kaya sa bagong...ay oo nga pala. Bagong graduate ka. Congrats.

JIGS Thanks.

YUMI So what¹re your plans?

JIGS Kinukuha akong researcher sa ADB. Kinukuha rin ako ng BPI sa OTP nila.

YUMI Wow naman. In demand.

JIGS Di naman masyado. Who the hell invented this tradition anyway?

YUMI (Matatawa) You won¹t believe it.

JIGS Ikaw?

YUMI Malay ko ba na mabibiktima rin ako nito balang-araw.

JIGS So why did you start it?

YUMI Wala ka pa sa tropa nun e. Freshman ka pa lang siguro noon. Wala lang. Napagtripan lang namin si Ronald. E may crush siya kay Meg. Noong unang beses magpunta rito ng barkada, sabi ko, magsimula kami ng tradition. Ilo-lottery namin ang pangalan ng mga lalaki at ng mga babae. Kung sino ang mabubunot, silang dalawa ang pagsasamahin sa isang kwarto sa loob ng tatlong araw. And then, we¹ll all see what happens. Pero dinaya namin noon yung kay Ronald at Meg. Puro Ronald at Meg ang mga pangalan na nakalagay sa lottery.

JIGS (Tatawa) Ang sama ninyo!

YUMI Kaya nga nakarma na ako e.

JIGS So is our case, dinaya? O talagang lottery?

YUMI (Teasing) Ano sa dalawa ang gusto mo?

JIGS Feeling ko may nagtrip sa¹kin sa barkada e.

YUMI Excuse me po, dalawa tayong biktima dito. I don¹t see any reason kung bakit tayong dalawa ang sasadyaing biktima this year, unless may crush ka sa¹kin na di ko alam at alam nila (tatawa).

JIGS Baka ikaw (tatawa).

YUMI The success rate of this tradition is 100% so far.

JIGS I was here na the 2nd time. Si Chris at si Cia ang biktima.

YUMI And last year were Rod and Kay. They¹re getting married kailan? Sa June yata.

JIGS What do you expect? Ikukulong mo ang isang lalaki at isang babae sa isang kwarto for three days, imposibleng walang mangyari doon!

YUMI That was exactly my point. (Ngingiti)

JIGS E kung may madisgrasya?

YUMI Ano¹ng disgrasya?

JIGS Alam mo na ?yun!

Hahawiin ni Yumi ang divider nilang kumot.

YUMI Ano? Sex? Pa¹no kung magsex sila? Nakakatawa ka naman. Di mo masabi.

JIGS Ang alin?

YUMI Ang sex!


YUMI Sige nga sabihin mo nga?

JIGS Para kang tanga. Tumigil ka nga.

YUMI Shet, Jigs. Graduate ka na totoy ka pa rin!

JIGS Excuse me?

YUMI Sabihin mo nga: ³Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!²

JIGS Para kang bata, Yumi ha.

YUMI You used to call me ate Yumi when you were in third year.

JIGS Well, graduate na po ako, ate Yumi.


JIGS Hmmm. I wonder if we¹re gonna last three days.

YUMI (Teasing) Bakit? Ayaw mo sa¹kin?

Di sasagot si Jigs.

YUMI We¹re gonna survive this one.

JIGS What makes you so sure?

YUMI No offense, Jigs. I honestly find you very attractive pero I¹ve no time for this. Alam mo naman siguro na kaka'

JIGS Same here.

YUMI Same here what? Na you find me attractive o you don¹t have time for this? (Matatawa)

Di sasagot si Jigs. Tahimik. Io-on ulit ni Yumi ang CD player at

ipagpapatuloy ang zazen. Itatabi ni Jigs ang libro. Nawalan na siya ng ganang magbasa. Pupunta siya sa ref. Bubuksan niya ito.

JIGS Hah! (Sarcastic) Perfect! Red Wine! How very conducive.

YUMI May chips ba diyan?

JIGS Sa awa ng Diyos, may tsibog naman.

Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player. Tatayo siya at kukuha ng chips sa ibabaw ng ref.

YUMI Since we¹re gonna be stuck naman with each other for three days, might as well make the best out of it di ba? I-enjoy na lang natin.

JIGS What do you mean?

YUMI Get the wine, let¹s have a drink! 50 hours to go na lang and we¹re gonna be the first failure of this tradition.

JIGS Oo nga. (Kukunin ang wine. Maglalagay sa dalawang baso.) When they chose Cia and Chris, naiintindihan ko pa e. Lalo na sina Rod and Kay. Kung baga, tinulungan lang natin silang umamin sa isa¹t isa. Pero us...

YUMI Weird ng barkada natin no?

JIGS To our barkada and our weird traditions!

YUMI To us, the first failure of this tradition!

Magto-toast sila at iinom.

JIGS Sige, ate Yumi. Let¹s make our stay here more interesting...

YUMI What¹s with the ate?

JIGS Fine...

Bubuksan ni Yumi ang chips. Uupo sila pareho sa sahig para magkwentuhan.

JIGS Let¹s play twenty questions.

YUMI Sige! Ano yon?

JIGS Each of us will have ten questions each. Tatanungin kita, tatanungin mo ako, mga gusto nating malaman sa isa¹t isa. Alternate tayo. Pero the thing here is, you can¹t ask the question that I already asked.

YUMI That¹s pretty interesting.

JIGS At bawal magsinungaling.

YUMI Fair enough. Pero whatever is said inside this room remains in the room. Ok?

JIGS Of course. You wanna start?

YUMI No. I want to ask the last question. (Ngingiti at kikindatan si Jigs)

JIGS Smart move. Game. First question: Ano ang greatest frustration mo sa buhay?

YUMI Nge. Ang korni naman ng tanong mo. Walang ka-challenge-challenge. Ask me something na mag-iisip naman ako.

JIGS Simula pa lang e.

YUMI Sige. Ano nga ba...?

JIGS Akala ko ba walang ka-challenge-challenge?

YUMI Wag kang maingay, nag-iisip ako...I¹m a frustrated ballet dancer.

JIGS Talaga?

YUMI I took lessons when I was six pero umayaw ako. Wala kasi akong disiplina e. Mas gusto kong makipaglaro sa mga kalaro ko. Pero I really enjoy watching ballet dancers. When I see them dance parati kong naiisip na sana, ako rin. There! Ang dali naman ng tanong mo. Walang thrill.

JIGS Appetizer lang. Yari ka sa¹kin mamaya.

YUMI We¹ll see. Ako naman: Did you ever have doubts about your sexuality? I mean, kahit minsan ba, naisip mo na bakla ka?

JIGS Never.

YUMI Bilis ng sagot a.

JIGS Coz I never entertained the idea.

YUMI Homophobe ka ba?

JIGS Alternate tayo sa tanungan, di ba?

YUMI So, not once? Kahit konti? Kahit what if lang?

JIGS I¹m straight, okay?

YUMI I¹m not asking if you¹re gay or not. I¹m asking kung...

JIGS Never nga.

YUMI We all thought na you were gay. Well at least nung first few months mo sa tropa before you introduced your girlfriend to us.

JIGS What?! You thought I was gay?!

YUMI E pa¹no kasi, masyado kang mabait. Ang pogi-pogi mo, pero parang allergic ka sa mga babae. Over ang pagiging gentleman mo. Too good to be true. You have a good body, it seems that you work out pero iniisip namin front mo lang yun. Kadalasan kasi front ng mga bakla ang pagiging maganda ng katawan nila at pagiging sporty...

Tatawa lang si Jigs.

YUMI So we thought it¹s either that or you were planning to become a priest.

JIGS What?!

YUMI Well, you were always this goody-goody person. Pumupunta ka sa chapel. Nangungumpisal, nagsisimba...

JIGS The way you said it, parang equivalent ang dalawa a.

YUMI Of course not. I didn¹t mean that!

JIGS I take my faith seriously. That doesn¹t make me gay!

YUMI So you did want to become a priest...

JIGS Hindi rin. Actually, I always wanted to raise a family...and be a father.


YUMI So you¹re not gay.


YUMI You never...

JIGS Ilang beses ka ba ipinanganak? Kulit mo e. It¹s my turn.

YUMI Homophobe ka no?

JIGS Hindi kaya!

YUMI Whatever...

JIGS Ako na, daya mo naman e.

YUMI Okay, okay. Shoot me.

JIGS How do you see yourself five years from now?

YUMI You expect to win this game? Ang kokorni ng mga tanong mo e.

JIGS The object of this game is not to win.

YUMI E ano pa ba?

JIGS To get to know the other person.

YUMI Sure. Basta ako, I will win this game. Walang thrill ang isang game kung walang nananalo.

JIGS Sagot.

YUMI May time limit ba ?to? (Tatawa) Wine pa nga.

JIGS Sabi nga nila: in vino veritas.

Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.

YUMI Masarap ang wine, ha? Saan kaya nabili ito? (Iinom) To answer your question, either maging entrepreneur ako, magsisimula ako ng sarili kong botique or bar, o kaya, magiging artista ako sa pelikula.

JIGS Not bad.

YUMI Pero mukhang malabo yung stint ko sa movies. Tough ang competition e. Saka mahina ang manager ko. Panay hosting at pictorials ang nakukuhang raket para sa akin. Papalitan ko na nga e. Pag nakaipon ako, baka magtayo na lang ako ng botique.

JIGS (Magbibiro) Ayaw mo mag-bold?

YUMI Yuck!

JIGS Lahat ng gustong mag-artista doon dumadaan.

YUMI May talent naman ako kahit papano a!

JIGS Lahat naman ng bold star may talent a! Sa dibdib! (Tatawa)

YUMI (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Bastos ka talaga! Akala ko goody-goody ka...Hindi ko papatulan ang pagbobold kahit ano¹ng mangyari no! Kahit ganito ako, may respeto pa rin naman ako sa sarili ko.

JIGS Ganito? Ano¹ng ganito?

Di sasagutin ni Yumi ang tanong.

YUMI These producers think all the people want is sex, sex, sex! Kaya puro basura ang mga pelikula e. Wine pa nga!

JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine) Bakit naman botique?

YUMI Hoy madaya ka na ha? Hindi pa ako lasing. Ako na¹ng magtatanong. Ang korni mo namang magtanong. Bigatan naman natin nang konti...Inom ka muna.

Iinom si Jigs. Magsasalin siya ng bago.

YUMI Who was your first crush in the barkada?


YUMI Haha! Bingo ka no? Bagal mo naman sumagot.

Iinumin ang wine. Magsasalin ng bago.

JIGS Lalaki o babae?

Tatawa sila pareho.

YUMI Dapat may time limit ito e.


JIGS Hirap naman ng tanong mo.

YUMI Iyon nga ang maganda e. Para may thrill. As if naman ibo-broadcast ko sa barkada kung sino.

JIGS Wine pa?

YUMI Di mo pa sinasagot yung tanong ko, nagtatanong ka na!

Magsasalin ng wine si Jigs kay Yumi.

JIGS Yung crush ko kasi...siyempre, sino pa ba? E di yung pinakamaganda sa barkada.

YUMI Nge. Subjective yon no! Para sa¹kin ang pinakagwapo si Joel. Sa babae, si Kay. Para kay Ronald, si Meg...JIGS Yung literally na may dating'walang tanung-tanong. Yung kahit sino¹ng tanungin mo sa tropa, objectively, siya ang isasagot.

YUMI Jigs, twenty questions ang game natin. Hindi guessing game. C¹mon man. Play your own game. Pa¹no na kung truth or dare to e di pahirapan na. Dadalawa na nga lang tayo e.

JIGS Yung commercial model.

Matitigilan si Yumi.

YUMI Wine pa nga.

Magsasalin si Jigs. Mag-iisip si Yumi. Iinom. Biglang matatawa.

YUMI (Tumatawa pa rin) Talaga?

JIGS Sige, pagtawanan ba?

YUMI You can say it to my face, I won¹t bite. Bakit hirap na hirap kang sabihin kung sino? Takot kang ma-reject? Parang tanong lang e...Wine pa nga!

JIGS Okay, 1 point ka na...

YUMI (Ngiti) Gee...thanks. Flattered naman ako. At kailan naman nangyari ito?

JIGS Sorry, my turn to ask. (Ngingiti) Who is your crush in the barkada...NOW?

YUMI E ginaya mo lang yung tanong ko e.

JIGS Hinde no. May qualifier ako. Ang sabi ko, NOW. Ang tanong mo, first crush ko.

YUMI Korni pa rin. Alam mo, kung basketball ?to, tambak ka na.

JIGS Just answer the question.

YUMI Siyempre wala. I told you, I don¹t have time for these stuff. Kakabreak ko lang di ba?

JIGS Korni mo namang sumagot.

YUMI E korni yung tanong e. Pero kung talagang-talagang kailangan kong sumagot...hmmm...teka...sino nga ba? Sino ba¹ng crush material sa barkada? Wala akong maisip e. Ikaw na lang.

JIGS Yung seryoso naman.

YUMI Seryoso ako. Ayaw mo yata e. Sige, iba na lang...

JIGS E napipilitan ka lang e.

YUMI Uy! Pa¹no ba¹yan? MU na tayo? Crush mo ko, crush kita...yiheee (Tatawa).

JIGS Dati pa ?yon no!

YUMI Ay? Di mo na ko crush? Bakit, na turn-off ka? Ano namang ginawa ko? Tsk. Tsk.

JIGS Is that your question na?

YUMI Oy, hinde! Ito naman...di ba pwedeng mag-follow-up?

Iinom ng wine si Jigs.

YUMI Fine. Here¹s a little juicy question: Describe your first kiss.

JIGS That¹s not even a question.

YUMI Arte mo. O: How was your first kiss like?

Matatawa si Jigs.


YUMI Yuck!

Magtatawanan sila.

JIGS Alam mo, aksidente yung first kiss ko. Close kasi kami nung isa kong kaibigan. Pag naggu-goodbye ako sa kanya, parati ko siyang kini-kiss sa noo. E one time, sa gym habang nagpapahinga, nakaupo siya sa sahig. Tinatamad siyang tumayo. So bumaba ako nang konti para halikan siya sa noo kasi pauwi na ako. E siya naman, para maabot ko, medyo tumingala. E sakto, sa lips ko siya nahalikan. Pareho kaming nagulat. Pero di pa kami naghiwalay agad. Weird nga ang feeling e. Parang may glue. Ayaw na namin maghiwalay pareho...

Tawa pa rin si Yumi

YUMI Awww. Ang sweet naman. Parang sa pelikula. Si Krissy ba to?

JIGS Hindi. Hindi mo siya kilala.

YUMI So what happened? Nagkatuluyan kayo?

JIGS Nope.


JIGS Ewan ko ba. Complicated kasi yung situation namin e. May boyfriend siya noon. Ako naman, takot pa sa isang relationship. Pero at least, na-discover namin na pareho pala kaming may gusto sa isa¹t isa. Pero hanggang doon na lang.

YUMI What happened after?

JIGS We talked about it. We both decided na it wont work. Tapos, bigla na lang, hindi na kami nagkikita. And then, I met you guys, iba na ang barkada ko.

YUMI Nakakatuwa naman.

JIGS Ikaw, pa¹no yung first kiss mo?

YUMI Ikaw ang nagturo sa akin ng game na ito di ba? Bakit ba lagi mong bini-break ang rules? Di mo na pwedeng tanungin ?yan!

JIGS Tine-testing ko lang kung lasing ka na. (Iinom ng wine) Okay, naka-warm-up na ako: What was the naughtiest thing you ever did?

YUMI ?Yan ang mga tanong! Ano ba¹ng ibig mong sabihin ng naughty?

JIGS Bahala kang mag-define.

YUMI Hmmm...marami e...(matatawa) baka maeskandalo ka.

JIGS Kanina ayaw mo ng korni. Ngayong medyo exciting naman...

YUMI Eto na...I had two boyfriends at the same time.

JIGS (Nagulat) Hala.

YUMI I was with Joel and Zach at the same time.

JIGS Yikes. Alam ba ni Joel?

YUMI Kaya nga kami naghiwalay nun e. Nahuli ako (matatawa).

JIGS Ano namang pumasok sa kukote mo¹t ginawa mo yon, aber?

YUMI Nag-eexperiment lang ako. E sa type ko sila pareho e. Ano¹ng magagawa ko? Saka para may thrill. Alam mo ?yon? Yung patago kang nakikipag-date sa isa para di mahuli. Everyday pa akong nakakalibre, kasi, alternate sila! (Tatawa) Akala n¹yo kayo lang mga lalaki ang pwedeng gumawa no¹n?

JIGS How can you love two guys at the same time?

YUMI Who said something about love? Walang kinalaman ang love dun. I was...having fun!

JIGS Nainlove ka na ba, ever?

YUMI Nakakailang tanong ka na? It¹s my turn.

JIGS Don¹t you want to answer the question anyway?

YUMI My turn!

JIGS Kulang ka pa sa wine. (Tatawa)

Ubos na ang unang wine bottle. Kukuha si Jigs ng isa pa sa ref.

JIGS Ang bilis nating uminom a.

YUMI Are you still a virgin?

JIGS Whoa! Where did that come from?

YUMI That¹s my fourth question.

JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine sa mga baso). Ano sa tingin mo?

Ngingiti si Jigs. Tititigan lang siya ni Yumi.

YUMI Don¹t tell me, wala pang nangyayari sa inyo ni Krissy hanggang ngayon? Ilang taon na ba kayo?

JIGS Mag-tu-two years na sana next week.

YUMI So virgin ka pa? I don¹t believe it!

JIGS Mukha ba akong tarantado?

YUMI Mukha kang nagpapaiyak ng babae e.

JIGS Insulto ba ?yon?

YUMI Compliment ?yon, tanga.

JIGS Ah, okay. Thanks.

YUMI Pero, you mean, you never felt the urge to do it?

JIGS Alin? Sex?

YUMI Wow! Nasabi rin niya!

JIGS Of course I always feel it. Natural lang yon sa tao no? Nasa iyo na lang ?yan kung ano¹ng gagawin mo sa urge na yon.

YUMI E natural naman pala e. Bakit mo pinipigilan? I mean, pag naiihi ka, iihi ka. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka. Pareho lang ?yon, di ba?

JIGS Pag naiihi ka, iihi ka dahil kailangan mong umihi. At hindi ka iihi kahit saan. Pupunta ka sa banyo. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka dahil kailangan. At hindi mo kinakain ang lahat ng pagkain na ihain sa iyo. Pag di ka gutom, di ka kakain. Pag di mo gusto yung pagkain, di mo gagalawin. Ang aso, pag may nakitang pagkain diyan, walang tanung-tanong. Lalamon ?yan.

YUMI And sex is the same?

JIGS Lahat ng bagay, nilalagay sa lugar. May context. At least, yun ang nagpaiba sa atin sa aso.

YUMI Grabe ka namang magsalita. Para mo na ring sinabing lahat ng nakikipagsex, aso ah!

JIGS Sinasabi ko lang, pag wala sa tamang konteksto, mali.

YUMI And what is that context?

JIGS Matanda na tayo. Ayokong maging preachy. Alam na natin yan. Tahimik.

JIGS Kaso, kahit alam na natin, minsan di pa rin natin ginagawa.


JIGS Masarap e. Sino ba¹ng ayaw nun?


YUMI (Medyo nairita) So feeling mo santo ka at dapat kang i-congratulate for being a virgin!

JIGS Sinasabi ko lang ang pinaniniwalaan ko. Ineexplain ko lang kung bakit di ko ginagawa. May kanya-kanya tayong dahilan. Di ko pinipilit kahit kanino ang mga paniniwala ko...No need to get so cross about it, Yumi.


JIGS It¹s not about being a virgin or not. It¹s about putting things into their proper places.

YUMI I¹m not arguing with you.

JIGS Me neither. I¹m just answering your questions.

Matagal na katahimikan.

Ngingiti si Jigs. Titignan niya si Yumi na medyo nairita sa nakaraang train of conversation nila. Magsasalin siya ng wine para kay Yumi.

JIGS Nasobrahan ka na yata sa wine e. (Tatawa) You still wanna go on with the game? Nine pa lang tayo, eleven more to go. (Ngingiti)

YUMI Shoot me.

JIGS Who was your first lay?

YUMI (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Ang bastos mo talaga! So inaassume mo na hindi na ako virgin?

JIGS E sabi mo kasi, walang thrill ang game pag walang nananalo e. So I guess I¹m winning. Saka wala naman akong inimply na ganun a! I¹m just hitting two birds with one stone. Kasi kung virgin ka, e di simple lang ang sagot: wala. Kung hindi naman, e di sino?

YUMI Ang daya mo.

JIGS Akala ko ba ayaw mo ng korning tanong.

YUMI You think I¹ll answer that after giving your sermon, Father Jigs?

JIGS Ano ka ba? Inexplain ko lang yung personal reasons ko. Kung ano man ang sa iyo, I¹ll respect them as well as I know you respect mine. I¹m no saint. I¹m just trying to get to know you better. (Ngingiti)

YUMI How do you do that?

JIGS Alin?

YUMI I should have walked out on you kanina pa pero the way you say things...parang bumabaliktad sa¹yo...makes you more...charming. Kung ibang tao ka siguro, di na kita kakausapin.

JIGS You can¹t walk out. We¹re locked here for three days except for meals.

YUMI So I¹m forced to like you para di masira ang vacation ko. (Ngingiti)

JIGS You don¹t have to answer my question if you don¹t want.

YUMI I guess I¹ll be honest with you as you were honest with me...

Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si Yumi.

YUMI Di mo siya kilala. His name was Robert. He was my first boyfriend. It was Senior Prom Night. Alam mo na...typical senior prom story. Everyone wants to lose it on prom night. Everyone thinks na pag prom night, it was something special. We went out sa hall nang maaga. We made out sa kotse niya. One thing led to the other. Tapos, yun...yun na. We went back just in time for the awarding of the prom queen. Guess what, I won pa. (Mahinang tawa)

JIGS What was it like?

YUMI Now that I look back, it isn¹t as special as I thought it was. Pero it was different then. Back then, we were just led by our passions. Alam mo yon? Andun ka na. Hormones raging wild. Passions and Ideals are confused. Akala mo love, yun pala, curious ka lang pala. Akala mo yun na yon. Akala mo you are in-love at lahat ng gawin mo tama. Lahat ng gawin mo perfect. Everything was magical...well, almost.

JIGS Almost...?

YUMI Sa next question mo na ?yan. Ako na.

JIGS (Pabiro) Wine pa? Kulang ka pa yata e.

YUMI Nilalasing mo ko no? May balak ka sa¹kin no? (Tatawa)

JIGS Is that your question? Sasagutin ko na. (Tatawa)

YUMI Engot. Hindi ?yon. Here¹s something na curious lang ako. Kasi I¹ve been hearing things...saka you¹ve hinted on it na rin kanina...Are you still with Krissy?

JIGS Hindi na.

YUMI Since when?

JIGS Two, maybe three weeks ago?

YUMI Sino¹ng nakipag-break?

JIGS Pareho kami.


JIGS Maraming dahilan, actually. Naisip na lang namin na it won¹t work. Isa na do¹n, magkaiba kami ng gustong mangyari sa buhay. Magkaiba kami ng mga pinaniniwalaan.

YUMI Like what?

JIGS Marami.

YUMI At ngayon mo lang nalaman iyon after two years with her?

JIGS People change, Yumi.


JIGS Right before graduation, she asked me to move in with her.

YUMI Talaga?

JIGS Sabi niya, doon na naman din daw papunta ang relasyon namin. Might as well practice na raw for the real thing. Tutal, she¹s working na naman, ako naman bagong graduate, we should try out na raw living together if it¹ll work for us.

YUMI Natakot ka sa arrangement?

JIGS Hindi naman sa natakot. If you love someone, ano pa¹ng ikakatakot mo, di ba?

YUMI E bakit umayaw ka?

JIGS It¹s just that, it¹s not my thing.

YUMI Sabi na nga ba e, bakla ka no? Sinasayang mo ang opportunities! (Matatawa)

JIGS Hindi ako oportunista. At lalong hindi ako bakla.

YUMI Fine.

JIGS Naisip ko lang na hindi pa pala ako handa sa mga ganitong bagay. Wala pa sa isip ko ang gano¹n. Na-shock siguro ako sa reality na iyon na nga ang next step sa relationship namin. mean, two years of being together and knowing each other, we¹re practically ready to get married, if you know what I mean. Pero I realized, I¹m not ready for any of these. Narealize ko how immature I am. Na iba yung ideals ko two years ago sa ideals ko ngayon. I need to mature some more to get into this thing'I mean, getting married. Diyos ko, ilang taon lang ba ako...

YUMI Maturity has nothing to do with age.

JIGS But it has a lot to do with time.


JIGS So I thought, bakit kailangan ng practice mode? Ibig sabihin, pag sumablay kami, split na kami? Live like a couple minus the commitment? Pa¹no pag nawala na yung magic? Goodbye na?

Iinom ng wine si Jigs.

JIGS Kung kasal na, kasal na. Wala nang practice. I think that¹s the real cowardice. Yung i-try muna natin kung it will work kasi takot kayo na baka hindi maging successful ang outcome. Saan na napunta ang excitement ng buhay? Kaya nga kayo in-love, para sabay kayong humarap sa totoong buhay, sa hirap at ginahawa, di ba? (Matatawa) Hindi yung pagpapraktisan muna ninyo para siguradong ginhawa lang.

Magkikibit-balikat lang si Jigs.

YUMI Are you always like that?

JIGS Like what?

YUMI So cerebral in everything. Kahit pagdating sa relationships.

JIGS Life is too precious para lang daanin sa trial and error.

Ngingiti si Jigs. Tahimik.

YUMI So, No hard feelings?

JIGS Friends pa rin kami. She still calls me up nga sa bahay e.

YUMI That¹s nice.

JIGS Kayo, bakit kayo nagbreak ni Carlo?

YUMI That¹s your sixth na ha?

JIGS Sure.

YUMI Alam mo, ironic para sa akin yung break-up namin ni Carlo. And the funny thing was, it was about...sex. Uy, sa atin lang ito ha?

JIGS Of course.

YUMI Kasi nga, I was looking for that magic nga di ba? I wanted to be in a relationship na special naman. So of all the boyfriends I had, sa kanya lang ako walang sexual relationship. As in nag-aabstain talaga ako. Kasi parang naisip ko, para magkaroon naman ng meaning yung ³making love² di ba? Parang, dapat di mo parating ginagawa, at ginagawa mo lang when you are sincere with yourself and with your partner. So I was investing muna emotionally. And I was actually starting to care about him. Yung, hindi ko na iniisip yung sarili ko. Yung siya lang ang inaalala ko. Akala ko perfect na...

JIGS Ano¹ng nangyari?

YUMI Patunayan ko raw na mahal ko siya. Magbigay daw ako ng proof. Pagbigyan ko raw siya. Sabi ko sa kanya, hindi pa ba sapat na proof ?yon? Na I¹m saving myself for that right moment, that special moment between us? Alam mo¹ng ginawa? Nilayasan ako!

JIGS You deserve someone better.

YUMI Talaga!

YUMI Isipin mo, kung kelan naman I grew tired of meaningless sex, when I¹m looking for the real thing, saka naman mawawala. Ang ironic ng buhay no?

JIGS That¹s the way we must learn.

YUMI Alam mo, kung tutuusin, never ko pang na-experience yung tunay na mag make-love. And I had to go all through those relationships para lang ma-realize yun. At least, ngayon, alam ko na ang hinahanap ko.

Iinom ng wine.

YUMI Ikaw ba, importante sa¹yo na virgin ang mapapangasawa mo? How do you see virginity ba?

JIGS Alam mo, di ko pa napag-isipan ?yan. Pero now that you¹ve mentioned it...It doesn¹t matter kung virgin ang mapangasawa ko o hindi. Of course I value virginity a lot. I treat it as the only real gift I could give to my wife to be. Imaginin mo na lang di ba, kung wife ko ang una ko. It¹s like the perfect wedding gift I could give to her. Pero kung siya hindi na virgin, I wouldn¹t care. As long as mahal ko siya. Kasi I don¹t expect her to give me the same gift. I don¹t do something because I expect people to do the same to me. Ibigay niya sa akin ang sarili niya nang buong-buo, sapat na sa akin ?yon. Masaya na ako sa ganoon.

YUMI (Mapapangiti si Yumi.) You know, that¹s the nicest thing I ever heard from a guy. That¹s why I always enjoy talking to you. You always say the nicest things.

JIGS Wow. Salamat. E ikaw, is making love to you equal to love?

YUMI I always took sex and love as opposite ideas. I mean, after the first time na...you know...sa Senior prom. Kasi afterwards, we broke up na ni Robert. Tapos naisip ko, yun na ba yung love? Baka hindi love yung naramdaman ko. Baka napagkamalan ko lang siyang love. I was just after the pleasure of intimacy. And then I felt empty. So empty. That¹s why I wanted to change. I wanted to believe in ³making love.² And I¹m still looking for it. Yung magic. Yung feeling mo, tao ka pala. I never felt that kahit isang beses. Men have penetrated my body but never my soul. And I wanted that. I wanted someone to touch my soul. To ³make love² to my soul through my body. Pero siguro, naging numb na¹ko sa dami ng relasyong pinagdaanan ko. Hindi ko alam kung mararanasan ko pa iyon. That¹s why I envy you.


YUMI Sa tingin mo may pag-asa pa ako?

JIGS You still have your soul...(Ngingiti)


YUMI With whom would you want to experience it?

JIGS Of course, sa asawa ko.

YUMI I mean, someone in particular. Take it as my seventh question. So give a name.

JIGS A name? Hindi ko alam. Basta kung sino ang magiging asawa ko.

Tahimik. Magkikibit-balikat si Yumi. Iinom ng wine.

JIGS Well, I always thought na it was Krissy. And then, it was just gone. Of course I loved her. And I still do. Pero the magic was just gone after we both found out na magkaiba kami ng mga prinsipyo sa buhay.


JIGS My turn?

YUMI Shoot me.

JIGS Tell me something...a secret. Yung wala kahit isang nakakaalam.

Matagal na katahimikan.

JIGS You trust me naman di ba?

YUMI Well, you¹ve earned it, alright.

JIGS Saka wala akong tinatago sa¹yo. Sinagot ko ahat ng tanong mo as honestly as I could. (Ngingiti)

YUMI I uhm...

JIGS Yes...?

YUMI I need more wine.

Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.

JIGS Take your time. We have less than fifty hours to go.

Iinom ng wine si Yumi.

YUMI I¹ll tell you something no one in the world knows except one other person. And that person probably forgot all about me already.

JIGS (Pabiro) What? You had sex with a stranger?

YUMI Ano ka ba?

JIGS Biro lang. Seryoso na.

YUMI Promise ha? Hindi ito lalabas.

JIGS Promise.

YUMI If this goes out, I will hunt you kahit sa libingan mo. Huhukayin kita at papatayin kita ulit.

JIGS Mamatay man ako ngayon.

YUMI Okay...(Pause) I...I was with Joel then...(Magiging mas seryoso ang tono niya) ...and Zach. I wasn¹t really with Zach, I was just going out with him pag wala si Joel, alam mo na...making out and stuff...Well, anyway, I was kinda serious din naman with Joel that
time. Joel and I were...you know...doing it. And...

JIGS And...?

YUMI Uhm...I...uhm...I got pregnant.

JIGS What?

Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si Yumi.

YUMI I uhm...shit. Hindi ko naman talaga ginusto e. Uhm...Two months akong delayed...then I took that test. I found out na buntis nga ako...and Joel found out about Zach (maluha-luha na) and I didn¹t know what to say, you know? Maniniwala ba naman sa akin si Joel na naaliw
lang ako kay Zach? Na I didn¹t really love him? Na wala lang iyon? And so he broke up with me and...I..uhm...I was afraid and uhm...

(Magsisimula siyang magbreak-down)

JIGS It¹s okay...

YUMI I uhm...hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, Joel left me. I wanted to tell him about the baby to make him come back but I don¹t think he¹d believe me after the thing with Zach...and...my parents are gonna kill me if...shit. (iiyak)

JIGS (lalapit kay Yumi para i-console ito) Ssshhh...you don¹t have to tell me this if it upsets you...

YUMI And so I went to a clinic...(hahagulgol) I didn¹t mean to, Jigs. I wasn¹t myself then. And I felt so afraid. So alone...

JIGS Tahan na. Ssshhh...

Iiyak lang si Yumi kay Jigs. Yayakapin ni Jigs si Yumi.

JIGS Alam ba ?to ni Joel?

YUMI How can I tell him? The only other person na nakakaalam ay yung duktor sa clinic. God...(iiyak) Oh God...

JIGS It¹s alright...

Hihimasin ni Jigs ang likod ni Yumi. Patatahanin niya ito. Matagal silang nakaganito lang.

Matagal na katahimikan.

YUMI Can you get me my yosi?

Tatayo si Jigs. Pupunta sa may side table sa tabi ng kama. Kukunin ang Yosi ni Yumi. Magsisindi siya ng isa at iaabot kay Yumi.

YUMI Thanks...

Matagal na katahimikan.

YUMI If we were...if we were the last two people on earth, would you consider doing it with me?

JIGS Doing what?

YUMI Alam mo na...

JIGS Alin? (Teasing ngingiti)

YUMI Gago mo. (Ngingiti)

JIGS Ngumiti rin.

YUMI So? Would you?

JIGS Alin nga? Di mo masabi no? Bakit di mo masabi? (Pagtatawanan si Yumi) Sabihin mo nga: Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!

YUMI Shut up nga!

JIGS That¹s your eight na, ha?

YUMI I lost count. Answer it.

JIGS Why not?

Hihithit ng yosi si Yumi. Tahimik. Sasandal si Yumi sa balikat ni Jigs.

JIGS If you could be something else, what would you be?

YUMI I dunno...maybe a violin...yeah. Violin siguro.

JIGS Bakit?

YUMI I always saw the relationship of a violin and its player as very intimate. Pag tumutugtog ang violinist, ang nakikita ko at naririnig ko, he strokes the soul of the instrument and the instrument penetrates the soul of the player. Para silangnagmi-make love. Di ba? Very sexy, very intimate, very sublime. Di ba? Pareho silang sincere sa isa¹t isa. Dahil kung hindi sila sincere, walang music na mabubuo. The violin surrenders her body to her player, her whole body and her whole soul, in full trust and sincerity. Di ba, compared to the sound of the other instruments, ang tunog ng violin parang isang naked woman? A naked woman in surrender? I want to be a violin. I want to be stroked in the soul. I want to make sincere music. I want to experience the sound of love.


JIGS Lalim nun ah. (Ngingiti)

YUMI Pa¹no mo malalamang in-love ka na?

JIGS Paano? I don¹t think there¹s a formula to that. Basta malalaman mo na lang. I mean, ilang beses lang ba nangyari sa akin ?yon? I¹d like to believe na yun na nga ?yon...yung kay Krissy...

YUMI Kwento mo nga...paano mo narealize dati na mahal mo nga si Krissy?

JIGS Alam mo nakakatawa...korni actually. Babalik na naman ako sa pagiging korni nito e. Di ba ayaw mo sa korni.

YUMI Sige na. Hindi na kita aasarin.

JIGS I heard bells.


JIGS Seryoso. Bigla na lang, habang nag-uusap kami, may narinig na lang akong bells, tapos music. Ewan ko kung iniimagine ko lang ?yon pero yun ang nangyari. Nakakatawa nga e. Parang kanta ng Beatles.

YUMI Seryoso ka ba?

JIGS O baka naman nagkataon noong oras na yon, may nagkakantahan sa kung saan sa school. Basta may narinig akong bells. Tapos napangiti ako. Pagtingin ko sa mata niya, iba na ang nakikita ko. Hindi ko na siya nakita as kabarkada lang. Biglang parang may magic. Hindi ko ma-explain. Baduy pero ganun. Tapos I just seized the moment. Umamin ako. A week later, kami na.

YUMI Korni nga. (Matatawa)

JIGS Korni talagang pakinggan. Pero pag nandun ka na. Pag naranasan mo na, feeling mo, hindi na korni.

Ngingiti si Yumi. Tahimik.

YUMI Alam mo, may times na parang tunog violin ang boses mo. O lasing ang ako?


JIGS I¹m into my last question.

Iaangat ni Yumi ang ulo niya.

YUMI Shoot me. Better make it good.

JIGS If you were again to be the next victim of this tradition, if you were to be locked up in this room again...who would you want the next guy to be?

YUMI (Mag-iisip) I want someone whom I could talk to... Yung makukwentuhan ko ng mga sikreto ko. Yung may sense makipag-usap. Yung may laman. The violin player who¹d stroke my strings...not even. Yung mapapatunog niya ang strings ko without even touching them.

(Tahimik) Lumuluwag na ang dila ko...kung anu-ano na ang nasasabi ko. (Ngingiti)

Tititigan lang ni Jigs si Yumi. Tahimik.

YUMI Siyempre yung masarap kausap.

Tahimik. Hindi makatingin si Yumi.

YUMI Yung kahit habambuhay wala kaming gawin kundi mag-usap... I think it¹s better than making love.

Mapapatingin si Yumi kay Jigs.

YUMI Gosh I want to kiss you so badly.

Matitigilan siya.

YUMI I can¹t believe I just said that.

Tahimik. Titignan niya ulit si Jigs.

YUMI Don¹t you want to kiss me?

Pause. Titignan siya ni Jigs sa mata.

JIGS Is that your last question? (Ngingiti si Jigs)



Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I Dance

Words and Music by Lenny LeBlanc
Song Category: Comfort
Performed by:
Genre: Pop/Ballad

Song Lyrics

When I'm alone with You Lord
My troubles seem to disappear
And the peace that comforts me
Always comes when You are near
And Your love's too much for my heart to contain
Joy too much that my feet won't refrain

So I dance like the rain on the roof
Tell my soul that my spirit's on the loose
Don't know if anyone will understand
Feels like an angel's got a hold of my hand
So I dance
I dance I dance I dance

When I think about the ways
That You have blessed my life
I sing a song of praise and thankful tears fill my eyes
'Cause Your love's too much for my heart to contain
Joy too much that my feet won't refrain

© 1999 Integrity's Hosanna! Music

Amazing Treat!

Some pics taken during Tina's grad party, last Saturday. It was like a reunion... and a time for confessions and revelations. Haha! What can I say, it was such an amazing treat- wonderful place, scrumptious foods, jovial buddies (i missed them!), cordial hosts, and oodles of laughter! As joan put it: "Haay, grabe, ngayon lang ulit ako nakatawa ng ganito!". ;)

One word: MASAYA! Thanks tina (and thanks to your family too!) Sana next time overnyt na nga! :P And again...

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S _ T I N A !
You deserve it! ;)

Ang nag-celebrate...

Ang mga naki-celebrate... (oo na, malaki na nga ang braso! :P)

Tabing Ilog (hihi!)

The Petit Monde gurls! ;;)

The Petit Monde gurls ulit (walang aangal, blog ko to! :P)

Ang mga naki-celebrate... turned "witnesses" to the big revelation!
The BIG Revelation:
RICO ESPELETA... Padre de Pamilya! :D

Friday, November 04, 2005

sembreak mode...

It’s lunch time… and I have not done anything worthwhile for work yet. Haaay, I just don’t feel like working right now. I miss sembreak! And my mind… and my whole being… is like in sembreak mode!

Hang time na naman ang utak ko ngayon. Ayaw mag-isip, kahapon pa. Grrr… I hate it when I’m like this. I hate it when I am asked to accomplish something, but my mind doesn’t cooperate in finishing the task. I hate it when I’m feeling… blank. I was about to say dumb, but blank is more descriptive of my current condition. Blank and uncomprehending that is.

Hmmm… petix time, while I’m waiting for my brain to recover and start processing again. :D Oh, well, I mean that part of the brain that handles real work. :P

Speaking of real work, yesterday (November 2), exactly marks our 6th month in the company. Ciempre, ang sikat na tanong na “o ano, masaya ka naman ba?”… ay lumabas ulit. Masaya nga ba naman ako? Ewan. Siguro?! DAPAT. Labo noh?! Well, partly I can say that I am happy, satisfied perhaps (at the moment). Yes, a lot of things about this company suck… the system, the bosses (some of them), the organization, the facilities and resources. Yet, the people that I work with, my officemates, some of my superiors… compensate for the letdowns. It’s just hard to leave them at the moment. I’ve been asked a number of times about my stand regarding resigning… about leaving the company. Most of the time, I just reply with “I don’t know. My plans are not yet laid”. But the truth is, I am not really concerned about leaving the company, I am more concerned about leaving the people in the company. Leaving the company, I believe I can do it at anytime, bond or no bond. But leaving the people whom I work with in this company, I explicitly say, I can’t right now. I can never find people like them in a single package ever! ^_^ As of now, I don’t have plans of resigning. I want to see the project through and I believe, there are still a lot that I will enjoy doing with my current workmates. But that is what I want to happen. Things take their own course most of the time. Well, I don’t want to think about it too much. Just fret about things when the time comes that I have to. Definitely, that time is not now (at least for me).

Ang serious naman nito?! Hehe. Tama na nga! :P

Thursday, November 03, 2005

... indulge not.

When it is not serious...

... ride on;
... play it out;
... indulge not.

When it is not deep...

... neither soak wet,
... nor pretend to drown
... indulge not.

When it is not real...
... dream on;
... fantasize;
... indulge not.

When it is not time...
... standby and wait;
... the clock is set to alarm, perhaps later... or never
... so, indulge not.

When things do not conspire...
... assume nothing;
... drop the connections;
... indulge not.

When it is uncertain...
... fold your hands, don't cease;
... knock 'n kneel
... hitherto, indulge not.

Indulge and be walloped... OR... indulge not!

just thinking aloud... the words just came... on my way home last monday. what am i thinking about?! 'dunno. Maybe I'm just reminding myself not to get involved, if need not be! ;)

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I miss her (even more)!

It's October 31... a special holiday... and I'm at the office. grrr! oh, well, i have to make up for the week-long vacation (if i can call it such) that i had last week. I had to help arranging things for my lola's wake, I needed a break, and I just want to grab my last chance of sacrificing time for lola.

My lola is gone. After a month of staying at the hospital... after 24 days of torture at the ICU, after 5 days of helplessness at her private ward... she finally rested. I am relieved... but sad, VERY SAD. I miss my lola. I miss her so much! At least her painful days are over now... but it's just beginning for us, for all of us who truly love her... I wanna cry! I just wonder how our family will go on after my lola's death. What would Christmas be like? Are we still going to have a family Christmas party? Haaay... I MISS MY LOLA SO MUCH! At least, she's happy now. That's the only fact that gives me relief right now. Lord, take care of my lola...

Thanks to all who sympathized with me and my family for my lola's death. Special thanks for all who spent time to visit my lola's wake: my highschool barkada, officemates, churchmates. It means a lot to me (and my family). Nakakatouch ang pagpunta nyo, sobra! Lalo na sa mga officemates na nanggaling pa sa Laguna! SALAMAT! :)

Sudden turn of events after my lola's death:
1. My mother came home from Hongkong. She'll be staying with us for a week.
2. We will be leaving our current residence. Within this week, we'll be transferring to my lola's house (so that lolo and mama (my aunt) will not be left alone).
3. Tita irene can now leave for Israel. Her trip has been postponed due to my lola's ill condition.

Haaay, I never expected that these things can happen in a flash. Oh, what my lola can do. Miss ko na talaga siya! :((

As I've said, my mother came home from Hongkong last Saturday. We fetched her at around 1 pm. Sarap talaga nang nandito si nanay! ^_^ (pero miss ko pa din si lola!)