Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Imaginations (quite long)

Personality tests almost always reveal (although not always direct to the point) that I am an imaginative person. And that is sooo true. I can always easily make scenarios in my head out of the blue. Most of the time, I smile or laugh alone when something fun pops out of my head. Sometimes, I cry when I daydream about confrontations and sad events, there are also times when I have to pinch myself for thinking about absurd stuff. =P

I, particularly, love to imagine about my future. Back in high school, I imagined myself being in a corporate environment, doing corporate stuff – a few years after, what I imagined has become real. I like what I am doing now because I have always dreamed about it. Lately, I’m beginning to imagine some more about my future. Still vague thoughts, but will have clarity soon. Right now, I imagine that after a couple of years or so, I can say to myself that I have exhausted everything that I have to learn from this corporate world. Eventually, I will move out of this zone, and perhaps get involved in teaching kids while being a small-time entrepreneur. I also imagine myself going to other countries in the near future. I still don’t know if I’d to go there for a business trip, or for a new career, or for a new life in a different world. Still vague, like I said, but what's certain for now is that I want to experience how it is to be a stranger in another country and to experince living in a place full of people with different culture, perhaps different language and norms. This way, I will be able to appreciate life and culture in the Philippines. If I will be given the chance to go to other countries (without spending much , of course =P), as of this writing, I am resolute to grab it. But that’s for now, things might change. =)

So there goes pieces of my self-imaginations. The good side is that I almost always know what I want and when I want it. If I will have the chance to outline my future, I can do so easily. The disadvantage, however, is that I tend to become idealistic. So idealistic that I become frustrated when the end result is not how I imagined it to be. So idealistic that I get disappointed when other people don’t do things according to how I daydreamed about it. Bad bad I know. That’s why most of the time I tell myself that all these are just my imaginations – all products of my thoughts. I can’t live by these imaginations.

The struggle of detaching imagination from reality has always been a struggle for me. On top of my imaginative side, I have to put my positive side. So that when things don’t seem to turn out right (my imaginations being the standard in that case), I can get away with the frustration and still cheer up. =)

BTW, I’m writing this because, right now I am frustrated about something. My way of shrugging it off and telling myself that “hey stupid, people don’t know your thoughts, and they can’t look through your imaginations, so don’t expect them to do things your way…”.

Blogging/writing can really be such a great relief. =)


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