l.y.n.K.s

Dilemma.

Dilemma. I’ve encountered this so many times before, but up to now, I still haven’t mastered the art of wisely dealing with it. And now, it caught me unprepared... again… :-<

Haaay, why do I always have to make a choice. It’s hard. Especially for a person who doesn’t want complications, like me. I don’t want things to be difficult for me. I want to take everything lightly. I want to enjoy and savor what is current that I tend to fear change. I don't want existing conditions to alter, especially when I have just learned the difficult task of shaping up to that condition. However, I know that it should not always be the case. If anything new comes… I have to open my doors to it… despite the fact that it can set hurdles on my way.

Grrr… once again I’m cornered… for the nth time, I guess. Somehow, I’m used to it. I’m used to the feeling of being confined in this kind of situation… but still, I don’t know how to respond. I don’t know how to deal with things. I AM CONFUSED!

I really don’t know which way to turn now. The road ahead gives me headache. But I have just taken the risk. Err… RISKS! And that complicate things bit further.

If I can just set things to be the way I want them to. If I can only change people… if I can only schedule everything… if I can only choose the things and people that I want in my life and arrange when I want them to come… if I can… but I know I can’t.

I don’t want to fret too much… as always. But just how am I going to avoid doing it, if every day and every night I am reminded how much haggles are in my way. Why does this always happen to me?! Ako pa na tamad mag-isip at magdesisyon! Why o why?! But on the other hand, maybe, that off-putting stance is my secret weapon. Hmmm… let me change what I’ve just said: Buti na lang tamad ako mag-isip! In times like this, it helps. I see the hitches, but I’m too sluggish to worry about them. Perhaps, that keeps me going. My attitude of letting things work themselves out. But that doesn’t remove the snags.

I’m still facing dilemma. Lots of them. :-<

… so help me God. :)

posted by K.L.Y.N at 2:35 AM