l.y.n.K.s

Honestly...

... my drive (to work) is slowly drying up.

I don't know 'til when the remaining specks of urge will last. I hope, longer than I thought. Coz when I don't like what I'm doing...

.. I stop enjoying.
.. I stop exerting effort.
.. I stop being good.

I don't want that to happen. I hate to be mediocre. I hate doing things "so-so-ly".

Unfortunately, the fun brought by my workmates has been largely reduced. Sad to say, it's the only thing that made me want to go on for the past few months. Now, that I can barely feel it, I guess it's time to find another place where I will have fun while being productive.

I hear a lot of rants. Much of those come from me. From my tired head, and dented resolve. I'm exhausted. A lot.

I pray that I will find what I am looking for soon. And I hope, I will realize what I really want to do and where I want to go.

Come May, the hesitation will definitely be gone. And I hope, when it is completely off my system, I will know just what to do and where exactly to go.

Haaay... I'm confused but optimistic. It's hard to encourage oneself. One thing for sure, the system really sucks and I just want to be outta here. Dunno 'til when I will last and where I can find encouragement to carry on.

I hope, this is just one of those "I'm-not-in-the-mood-to-work-today-but-come-tomorrow-i'm-okay-again" days.

I really really hope so. *sigh*

posted by K.L.Y.N at 6:00 PM